Let’s start this topic off with a personal story.

My horse of nearly five years, named Cali, is a mare with many opinions. Although she is as safe and as level-headed as they come, she will let you know exactly how she is feeling about something whether it be on the ground or in the tack. In addition, Cali will directly mirror moods and emotions, especially if they begin to turn in a negative direction. Like many mares, Cali doesn’t give anything away for free. If you ask for something unfairly or incorrectly, she will absolutely tell on you. You have to ask her in a proper manner in order to receive the desired outcome, otherwise she will not comply. Even being nearly five years in, Cali still regularly holds me accountable to this very day.

Cali has always been known to not be the best solo trail horse. Her classic move is to plant her feet and refuse to move forward when she decides that it’s time to return home or if there is water nearby. For many years, I wouldn’t trail ride her unless a friend was willing to lead. Trail riding during the rainy, Southern California winter season with all the puddles that come with it was nearly impossible. After moving barns and revisiting the topic with a new, reputable trainer, Cali’s solo trail rides vastly improved. Occasionally, something may happen, but overall, she is a changed horse. Now, as she is recently retired from jumping, trail riding has become a staple in her weekly riding routine.

One day, I decided to take Cali on the trail by myself. I tacked up and mounted like normal, then decided to head in the opposite direction that we usually go in. I didn’t think or ride differently until she decided to plant her feet not too far from home. It took me a second to figure out the issue, until I noticed a stream of water that was running underneath the trail ahead. Although she would not have any chance of stepping in the water, she was very much bothered by the presence of the water itself. My initial response, which was a conditioned reaction, was to squeeze her forward and send her on, but that didn’t work. That exact response actually never worked in this type of scenario on the trail with Cali. There is a time and a place for that reaction, but this moment was not it. Instead of sending her forward, it only prompted her to attempt to head in the opposite direction. Luckily, I paused and remembered that trying to force her would only do more harm than good, and she would never give in to the demand even if I continued asking. Allowing myself to get frustrated or upset would also worsen the issue. Instead, I allowed her to stand there and look at the water for a few moments while I remained calm and kept my composure. I took deep breaths and told myself, “I have all the time in the world.” When Cali seemed relaxed and focused, I gently asked her to take a step forward. This slow process continued until I got her past the “scary” water and continued our trail ride like nothing had happened.

Oftentimes when we try to force something to happen, our efforts tend to backfire. With an opinionated mare, demanding an action and feeling frustrated when it doesn’t happen would only result in a battle that I would ultimately lose. I’ve lost that battle one too many times over the years to finally realize that practicing patience during problems was the answer after all. If I hadn’t paused and reassessed the situation, then a large, unsolvable issue would have been created. Instead of relying on hasty, automatic reactions, I was able to give an intentional, effective response. Too many times we mindlessly rush through situations and wonder why the outcome only worsened the initial issue. Tapping into the moment and intentionally choosing our thoughts, words, and actions goes a very long way. Taking the time to work through a situation will render a more thoughtful outcome. Most of the time, pausing and practicing patience allows success to come to us rather than us attempting to hastily force the outcome of success. Slowing down the process rather than rushing through it is always the wiser choice, especially when collaborating with our 1000-pound, intuitive teammates.

Would you describe yourself as connected and intentional or rushed and going through the motions in riding and daily life? We can all easily run on autopilot, but sometimes our immediate reactions come with undesired outcomes rather than great success. It sounds so simple, but taking a pause and intentionally choosing your response can be so hard to trade in for the quick, automatic response. This is your reminder to practice patience when problems arise and to mindfully choose how to handle each situation. In my case, taking my time rather than rushing through the sticky situation on the trail ultimately led me to success in the end. If this is an area you personally struggle with, please reach out for direct assistance!